To be honest, I am not quite sure what this website is meant to be at this very moment. It was originally for my Intro to Mass Comm class so you may see some posts that were directed towards that (but are still my thoughts, just with a word count on them), but I definitely want to do something with this space. I haven’t decided if I will use it as a professional portfolio or as some kind of database to everything me– from the thoughts in my brain to everything I do. Or both? All I know is that I secured my “.com” URL and that oddly has been a dream of mine since I was in the fifth grade. I blame Neopets for starting my journey with HTML and websites… Thank you to the University of Oklahoma for allowing that dream to come true.

Anyways, for now I will write some blog posts on here. It’s my site so it should be covered by my own words, right? And to be frank, I always feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t get my thoughts out there in some way whether that be the usual form of writing, songwriting, or through all artistic expressions. It’s why I want to become a filmmaker. I feel as if I and other individuals have stories and messages that the world should hear and I choose the medium of film to make them loud and clear. I also love many other mediums besides film as well though and want to make it clear that I am an artist and a storyteller above all else. Hopefully this little space of mine will get even cooler with the addition of a camera. I’ve worked very hard to save up for one this past summer so I no longer have to rent one out. Long story short, but our previous camera kind of blew up in a car. My life is so empty without a camera in my hands so I cannot wait until I no longer have to rely on horrible iPhone quality for all of my photography and videos.

I would also like to note that I can sometimes be a bit descriptive and random. I’m a writer so sometimes once I start, I can’t stop. It’s just how my brain works, I guess, but it’s never going to change and so it’s best just to get that out there. I really wouldn’t want to change it anyways. It’s how I get some of my best story/artwork ideas and inspirations. 🙂 But if it drives you crazy, I can promise you that it drives me even crazier because you aren’t the one who has to live with it 24/7. Still wouldn’t–and couldn’t–change it for the world.

Which leads me to this: I am currently sitting on a train that is taking me back to college from my hometown in Texas. I’ve been recently highly inspired by trains and the peaceful experience of just sitting and watching the beautiful world around us go by. It’s a nice break from the stressful [yet arguably fun] life of a college student who has barely escaped being a teenager (I just turned 19, I still am not ready to call myself an adult quite yet). I never rode the train unless it was during family vacations to cities like Chicago or for something fun to do but with no specific destination to reach except to see what it was like to ride a vintage train until last year. I discovered it was an easier and more convenient way for me to get back home for weekend trips from my college town in Oklahoma. At first, like most experiences this past year, it was intimidating and scary to go on by myself but now it’s like it’s a part of my nature. Get packed, parents or other family take me to the station (often with a teary embrace before boarding because good-byes, even if I’ll see them again soon, are essentially my enemy), and then just sit there for 3 hours attempting to be productive until a taxi or a friend picks me up at the station that conveniently is minutes away from campus. I have the whole trip memorized by now. Even if I drive back to school from home, I still go by the train station stops to figure out where I am in correlation to my destination.

So today, I am going back to Oklahoma for the second time in a week after an unexpected couple of days back home. I had to have that good-bye moment with my family and hometown twice in one week. Seriously. That’s torture to me. You’d think it would be easier the second time around, and there sure were less tears, but it still hurts. It’s definitely way easier this year as a sophomore than it was last year since I’ve done it over a hundred times by now, but I still will forever wish I could be at two places at once. I don’t think that will ever change. It especially is hard for me to go back this time around because I’m not going to lie, I had a tough week at school this past week. It was an incredible experience and I know God has been leading me and wanted me there for some benefit on my and other’s part but I can’t help but wish I could have had even more time at home if I was not going to be able to receive the blessing of a sorority in the end anyways. But at the same time I’m aware that it was ultimately my own decision not to be in one if I didn’t feel fully content with the options given to me, and I am more than thankful for the extra days I did get at home. If there’s anything I am thankful about when it comes to the person that I am, it is my continual optimism even when the going gets tough. So what if I’m sometimes annoyingly positive and way too nice (and I rarely lie so every compliment is my own truth)? It never fails to pull me right back up, even in my darkest moments.

Anyways, I just am ready to hop back into a schedule and see new and old friends again. I need to remind myself that this school year hasn’t even started yet and so many new journeys await me and I can’t wait. Usually when I face moments of sadness and doubt in my decisions like now, I am in need of some more God time to bring the greater things in life to mind. Trips on the train are perfect moments of such spiritual and artistic inspiration for me.

I now love to put on a folksy/indie-pop/alternative 8tracks (my current obsession, my saving grace for long days at work this past summer) and just inhale the sounds of the train on the tracks and the sway of the cart as the most beautiful creation by the most talented creator goes by through the windows. Think the first scene of Gossip Girl as Serena looks out the window of train to “Young Folks”. Iconic. Since music and film are my favorite things in life, when I listen to music and examine the world it’s like I’m creating my own little scene in my mind. I have been doing this since I was in elementary school and still remember the little scenes I would build in my mind to songs like “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield. They’re my most content moments and someday will inspire my own creations.

Today, I went along the rush-hour traffic looking at the cars on the road. They couldn’t see me, but I could see them (so creepy, I know, but I was going backwards so does that make it better…?). I wondered what their personal stories were and where they were off to just as I had one myself. The Red River is flooded in comparison to its usual water height and the muddy waves are roaring and it’s surely a sight. Reminds me of adventure I and a few friends went on in Austin. Then we passed the beautiful plains with grazing animals lit up by the beautiful sunset as if it was setting the horizon on fire. I just can’t help but wish that pixels could pick up the pure beauty of these sights, but they never will be able to without some kind of alteration. God’s creations are just way too mighty and honestly, that’s how they should be. If only I had whatever paint and paintbrush God used to paint the beautiful red sun that was in the sky tonight. My personal aspiration as an artist is not to remake God’s beautiful creations though, but to bring out the beauty in them to the masses (that includes human potential because you are just as much of one of his beautiful creations as the sunsets we constantly Snapchat and Instagram).

Train rides like tonight’s remind me of that (which also makes sense since artists always take from life and the world around them). It fuels me to keep going and to honor His creations and all that He did/does for us. It allows me to see the world beyond my own personal bubbles and often adds places to my list of venues I want to someday film at. It’s incredible that a year ago, Oklahoma honestly was my least favorite state. Too many trips through the “boring” parts during our long drives up to Iowa/Minnesota. Now, I smile at its beauty and feel as if God ironically placed me here to open my eyes to a place I have always been overlooking. It might not be a city and I’ve admittedly always have been a city girl, but it sure has so many things to be discovered about it and should be honored too. All things created by God has a right to be honored and that’s what I set out to do through my work.

As we near my stop, I have a clearer grasp of the world around me once again and can see past whatever is going on in my own life. Just a little reminder to all of those who may be stuck in their own lives like I have been!

xoxo, lizzie 🙂

PS- here’s an article that really inspired me today and helps with anything that requires a decision in life beyond just sorority recruitment: https://thetruthaboutsororityrecruitment.wordpress.com/2015/07/20/the-truth-about-recruitment/